also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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