Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
