The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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