how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Damn victory sex feels great
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
