i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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