you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
