hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
