I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
