He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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