Your tits are I can't wait for
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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