what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
