u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
