What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
