I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
