Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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