I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
