You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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