Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
