He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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