the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
