we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
