actually, I'm a sock model
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
