Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Can Purell be used as lube?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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