Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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