A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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