I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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