You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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