her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
drinking out of a sandbucket again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
