I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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