someone get that fucking seahorse.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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