i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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