how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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