We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
