Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
