Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
