Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
