You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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