and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
