But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
