i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
