There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
