I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
