Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
