Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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