Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
