I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
