Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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