Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
