She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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