Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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