I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
