So drunk, too bad you don't want this
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
