I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
