He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i drank out of a bidet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
