Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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