i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
this is an emotional support booty call
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
